gone fishin'

There's one thing I love about fishing...

...Sitting in the middle of a lake [or whatever body of water it may be] and watching the sun peek through the clouds, and quietly settling on the horizon and vanishing into

the abyss.

There is just something so calming and refreshing about this aspect of fishing. Now as being the observer I am, maybe I wouldn't have noticed it so much if I was fishing. Yes... I was just watching my nieces and nephew fish with my Dad. And it made me wish I was young again. Not having to deal with all the worries and wonders of life just yet; and just fish and watch the sun. It's almost as if time stands still for a moment-- and you're able to see the beauty in that.

I love listening to the water move while the boat skims atop the water. There is just something peaceful about it as well. The kids were all excited when they caught little Blue Gills; in fact, my niece Bryanna caught a 12" Bass! She was really excited, but she was scared of it... it was wiggling all around-- but I got a picture with it-- a silly one at that.

It was an enjoyable Father's Day-- and I wish my Dad & I went fishing when I was younger. I only remember a few times we ever went... but we can only move forward in life. We can't dwell on the past-- but make up for what we have in the here & now...

Which I've decided that, whatever happens... the Lord knows the way we will tread in the waters that we're swimming in. Sometimes there are storms that want to drown us, but He'll always keep us afloat, even when it seems impossible. And then we have time to just lay on our backs and float down stream... in the calm waters that give us peace.

I have peace about life right now, even when things seem unclear. There's a passion in my heart for greater things-- things I can't even begin to describe. But I'm always hopeful that this time around, it will be right. Sometimes I'm wrong, but that's okay. It changes me and helps me to grow into who I need to be. I think we're always in that path of changing no matter who we encounter.

I guess I'm just waiting... floating on down the river of peace... waiting to bump into another who has been waiting too. It's a funny thing; love. When you aren't paying attention, you run right into it. I feel like I wasn't paying much attention, or had my attention on someone else, rather; and something about the way he looked at me & shook my hand, made me think back to that moment I had shrugged off... Perhaps it's my hopeful state again, wishing for that to be something more... but there was just something about him-- his mischievous grin and playful eyes that brought me back to the first

moment we met....

Maybe it's just a dream in the making from my mind... but maybe it's something I've been waiting for...

just relax.

"those that wait on the Lord rise up on wings like eagles;

so we can start to see things from His point of view;

that way we will walk and not faint...run and not grow weary..."

help me Lord, to let this go...

to let this not be another distraction...

I have grown so much this year. People have come into my life that I would have never saw coming.

Picture it. Discover it.

Planting the seed to see it grow.

The fragrance, the beauty.

It is awakening, blooming.

My gardener carefully pruned away the bad, to reveal the good.

The beauty beneath the sorrow, the pain, the grief.

The beauty within that is bursting to be revealed.

The Lord gave me a provision:

There were two different occasions that come to mind. Both happened in prayer, in silence.

The first one was a detailed pathway to get to the top of this mountain. I was pushing past the brush and trees. It was dark, but the sun peeked through the branches. It was a light guiding me to my destination. I finally reached a clearing, and sat awhile to ponder my journey. This lasted for some time. I needed to rest. I had been through a lot.

The next picture was myself standing at the parting of two trees. I walked closer and closer, and all I saw was blue skies, the sun shining so brightly. I looked around in awe of my surroundings; the view. It was breath-taking. "So this is what I waited for? This is where my journey brought me to? This is utterly amazing." And there in front of me, was the Lord. He faced me like a lover would. He embraced me. He began to tell me how he sees the bigger picture; he guided me exactly where I needed to go, even with all the detours and tiresome pathways. It was all for a reason. He told me how much he loved me, and wanted me to see what he sees-- his point of view on where I had been, and what he had in store for me. The horizon was so vast and wide, it was remarkable to think that, I was just in a forest, not being able to see anything but my surroundings. But now I saw what the Lord saw. "This is how much I love you. Never forget that."

I had to soak in the beauty of the journey... of the wait.

I had to learn how to love myself; I had to fall in love with my Maker before anything else. To face him as a lover...

The second came to me like a rushing flood. I was sitting in my room, just being quiet. A picture was painted in my mind. I was on the beach [which I love], just soaking up the beautiful colors dancing in the sky made by the sun going down so perfectly on the water. It happens every day, but it is beautiful each time in its own way. Then a man came and sat down beside me. It was Jesus. He put his arm around me, just hugging me and talking with me. We talked about a lot of things. But the only thing I remember is, how much he wanted me to know that he loved me, so much. And that he told me, "you see as far as you need to. There is a vast ocean in front of you, and you can't see the end of it-- but it's there just the same, just like it always has been. So has my love. And I want you to know that's how much I love you... as far & as wide as the ocean's view... Just as the sun rises and the sun sets, I will always love you. And I want you to know that there is a whole world in front of you, and you're ready to see it. Come with me. Let's go."

And with that, I told him I knew he loved me; very much so. His beauty is enough evidence of that with the way it strikes my heart and soul each time. And we walked along side each other as friends... neither one ahead or behind, but side-by-side, his hand in mine.

It's funny how things like that happen, and we second-guess the beauty and simplicity of the message. But indeed did I hear the Lord in both situations. It was confirmed to me later that week during a conference. The speaker told us how, in order to see God as our lover, we have to be face-to-face with him & really learn to love him first. And in order to be his friend, we have to journey together side-by-side, so we can be ready to see what he has in store for us; the bigger picture.

Next time, I don't think I need to wonder....

You know what's hard though? Waiting. Even though I get the message each time, waiting plain stinks. Time and time again, I feel the words "patience, wait, trust" being spoken to me through others or through him. And I'm at that point where I'm thinking, "Really? MORE waiting. For what? I'm ready. Pick me. Can we go yet?" And the Lord replying, "Not yet." And you know what? I'm strangely okay with it more-so now that ever before. I never thought I'd reach this point of being OKAY with where I am at in life. Then a part of me really wants life to move ahead; I want to go to the place that he's preparing for me. But for some reason unknown to me, I still need to wait. And you think, "what am I even waiting for? Is there something that good out there that's taking its time so that it will be great?" Yup, it's true; I just can't see it yet.

But all I know is, that he's made something beautiful in its time; I can be a light in all the dark places, waiting to be found. And I know that when I reach that point where he says, "you don't need to wait any longer; it's here waiting for you," then I know I'm going to be blown away and extremely blessed by it. I will be amazed. I have hope in that. I put my trust in that. I'm praying for that every day.

Come soon. I'm waiting for you.

We are diamonds waiting to be found, catching light in the corners of our eyes...

We are made of love, and all the beauty stemming from it.

polished

it isn't always about the physical; it's about the emotional depths you reach that cannot be expressed as with describing one's beauty. The real connection lies underneath two hearts that are connected by the soul; and to find something like that is rare.

fav. lyrics:

owl city-butterfly wings

Asleep in a warm cocoon
We dream of lovely things
Were both gonna wake up soon
So we hope that tomorrow brings us our butterfly wings

Swimming with Dolphins- everything's a miracle

I've got the brightest star you'll ever find,
Even the sun is jealous of the way you shine.
We are the constellations in the sky,
Wrap me up in your arms,
It's beautiful when time is ours, and everything's a miracle.

jaded.

..."Have your actions shown love? well I don't really think so. I'm left blinded and battered on the floor. I thought you were good, I thought I could trust you. I'm deeply jaded, and I'm walking out that door..."

I'm left jaded. In all... I never thought I'd feel the sting of caring and trusting people too much. I've been blinded by the actions, because my heart always wants to see the good in everything.

To maybe a fraction of an understanding, I think I get what God means by acting as a jealous lover; our rejection of him when he pursues us, and constantly running away when all he wants to do is love us perfectly.

I'm hurt. And I can't believe I'm so trusting.

I may trust too easily
I may care too deeply
But never have I regretted loving the way I'm supposed to.

But I'm sorry you blinded me
Through everything I held so near.
I'm sorry I always saw the good in your heart.

You left me jaded once more.

roots.

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." — C.S. Lewis

I really should not be blogging right now; instead I should be on my way to work; but the thoughts are itching and scratching at the surface...

I saw this quote from a friend, and I thought to myself...

"I have committed to myself in wanting what is best; God's best for my life. But it hadn't crossed my mind that it would have to be painful in the process."

Wow. How had that not crossed my mind?

Because right now... at times, it is so painful, and I wonder if the best really IS worth it... when, I don't even know what I'm waiting for.

I look at this current situation of my heart... and yes, it has taken my breath away too many times, I lost track. But it was all for bringing out the best in me; making me better in the long run. And it was painful. But it birthed something new, something fully alive.

So... was it worth it?

Yes.

I can look back to where I used to be, and think... "Wow. Look how far I have come! Look how my heart has changed."

And with that I should be saying, "the pain was worth it." But I sometimes want to forget the pain and think it was nothing at all.

And what I'm dealing with at this moment, I think to myself... "This is so hard. What am I waiting for? Everyone keeps telling me to not wait around for it to happen... don't let something else pass you by... I don't know if it's even worth it..."

But even so, with my heart in pain, I say... "This is it. This is what I have been waiting for. But, it's not mine yet. I have to wait. And that hurts. It is painful. But I am hopeful. I don't have any idea why, but I am. Am I foolish? Only time will tell. But I don't think so. Why I feel so strongly is beyond my comprehension at this point. I just have faith. And because I want the best, this will be one of the most painful experiences--because of the wait. More and more waiting. Hoping. Trusting. And with that, I could get tremendously hurt. But I have a stronger relationship with God than ever before. HE has captured my heart once again. I know he won't let me fall. He loves me. Beyond anything. Beyond reason. He didn't promise this life to be easy. But he is good. He is wild. He wants what is best for me, and it's going to be painful to get where I need to be. It has already been so. But he knows the desires of my heart. He knows the path on which I take I want to glorify him. He knows that I long for a husband. He knows. And since I want the best he has... this isn't going to be easy. Another is involved. And if he isn't complying, well, I think it will be even harder. Even longer the wait. Should I give up? Do I look foolish? Maybe to most. But there's just something that I can't look away from. There's just something there. And, it is going to be painful to watch it walk away from me time and time again. To have to wait for him to notice me. To have him see something worth pursuing. Sometimes, you don't see something that is right there in front of you because you aren't even looking. I know in some way, what it feels like to be that jilted lover, like God is to us. It hurts. It's painful. But the reward will come in the end."

... I've planted the seed. It's growing roots. Soon enough, it will bloom. And the pain it went through won't look so bad through the beauty it will reveal.

article:waiting

http://www.kyria.com/topics/spiritualformation/theologyspiritualissues/mind0415.html?start=3

...And as long as there's life in my heart, I know I can keep waiting and trusting and hoping for the day when God will bring answers to the deeper questions I'm wrestling with.

Learn to rest.

"Cease striving and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10, NASB). I can't count how many times that verse has made me stop in my tracks and realize that all my hard work and all the self-help books in the world will never bring about the kind of lasting change I long to see in my life. And it takes God speaking those simple words for me to realize, again, that instead of laying out ten quick steps to becoming a godlier woman, instead of burdening me with more that I need to do, God is instead inviting me to rest. He's instead calling me into relationship with him, inviting me to get to know his heart and his character. He's instead speaking to me of his love, of his delight in me, of his desire to sit with me for awhile and talk.

I'm so good at letting the trap of busyness consume me, at working tirelessly at every area in my life that I'm not satisfied with. But it's only when I step back from all that hard work and finally rest that my thirsty soul is actually satisfied, and that peace and balance are restored to my striving, unrestful spirit.

"Cease striving and know that I am God." Okay, Jesus, I will.

Yes, the season of waiting is difficult. But our roots go down deep as we wait and trust and hope in God. So whether you're waiting for guidance in a major decision, or waiting for a broken heart to heal, or waiting for love, or waiting for a clear career path to unfold, know that Jesus longs to walk with you right here, right now.

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a child-like 'What's next, Papa?'" (Romans 8, The Message)

Expectant. Hopeful. Confident. Now that's what I want to be known for in my season of waiting.

the waking bloom: waiting in stillness

Progress.

I was reminded tonight of the "waking bloom" inside of me.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.- Ecc. 3:11

In order to find the beauty, you must let life happen; you can't make it happen. You'll miss the point in waiting.

my bloom is being cultivated.

it's growing, yes.

it's also dying from its old ways.

so the new can transform beneath.

it's all about transformation.

and that takes time.

we can't rush the process.

if we do, we won't be ready.

I'm not ready yet.

I opened the door to my waiting period.

I planted the seeds to grow.

Now I'm waiting.

I've only just begun.

I'm discovering. It's a wintery season. But I take heart.

Because I know spring will soon come.

I must wait it out.

And when the right time comes.

...it will spring forth new life.

A transformation into something beautiful.

and it was all in its time.

I can't wait.

But I can.

I'm waiting for the best...

...for the best is yet to come.

"Something to be excited for... we will hopefully all wake up and change; ready to fly away upon release." -him

"Yes, I like that. It makes me excited..."-Me

"The waking bloom."- him

"You remembered..."-Me

...many waters cannot quench the love I have for you.

never forget.

the long way around

I love books.

I love the time I actually have TO read them.

Well, ...maybe it's more like... I should be doing other things with my time,

but... I feel this is necessary.

And it will only improve my time when I have it.

I hope.

I finally picked up "Sacred Romance" by Eldredge. I let out a quiet "yay" in the library at school when I found it. I finished reading "Waking the Dead" last week. I think I've read all of his books. Oh, I also read "Epic" in one sitting by him, haha. I love it.

So, I have yet to start that one, but I randomly, or as I like to say... not-so-randomly found this book called "When the Heart Waits," by Sue Kidd. Classic. Now ya wonder why THAT one stuck out to me? ha ha.

I love it already.

She writes about her mid-life crisis, but it's no different than the period I'm in now.

She realized God was showing her that she needed to be still in her waiting.

That by building her 'cocoon,' something beautiful and wonderful will form underneath.

From the outside perspective, you can't see what's happening inside.

But you're conscious of it. You are aware.

But you have to be patient.

You have to wait.

You have to be still.

Because when the right time comes, a beautiful butterfly will transform.

It will spread its wings.

It will fly.

p20. "God is offering an invitation. A call to waiting. A call to the mysteries of the cocoon. I discovered that in the spiritual life, the long way around is the saving way. It isn't the quick and easy religion we're accustomed to. It's deep and difficult-- a way that leads into the vortex of the soul where we touch God's transformative powers. But we have to be patient. We have to let go and tap our creative stillness. Most of all, we have to trust that our scarred hearts really do have wings."

p43. "To create newness you have to cover the soul and let grace rise. You must come to the place where there's nothing to do but brood, as God brooded over the deep, and pray and be still and trust that the holiness that ferments the galaxies is working in you too. Only wait...

And somehow the transformation you knew would never come, that impossible plumping of fresh life and revelation, does come. It manifests itself in unseen slowness. So it would happen to me and so it will happen to all who set out to knead their pain and wounds, their hopes and hungers, into bread. Waiting is the yeasting of the human soul."

I guess this will be more a journal for me. Well, it is anyway. And it's so much faster to type than write it all out. ;)

I can relate to what she means by the butterfly. I have had dreams about colorful butterflies before... and I knew at the time it meant my heart was transforming... it wasn't all for nothing. The waiting... I was only just beginning...

And now, I have felt that wintery season is still upon me. I'm still waiting to see the blossoms from the covered seeds that are deep within the ground. Spring will come... and in my wait, something beautiful will come from it. But I can't rush it. I can't fast-forward the waiting period. I will miss something. There is always beauty in the wait.

I just have to remember that.

While my heart waits.

For something unseen...

[[writing about the bulbs of daffodils]]

p46. "I was struck by how extraordinary their feat really was --those delicate shoots breaking through the soil, through all the darkness I'd heaped on them. I wondered if that was the same mystery going on in the soil of my own life. Was there a truer, more whole self buried in me under layers of heaped darkness? Was I being asked to break through the layers of my false selves and let the True Self emerge?"

p47. "God calls us to tend what lies seeded in the soul, this kernel of our truest nature--the God-image or True Self."

"There is something in the soul which is only God. I can't think of anything that creates such a feeling of awe in me." -Eckhart

"We are to grow up in every way into...Christ." -Eph 4:15

"Throughout our lives we create patterns of living that obscure this identity [of being like Christ]. We heap on the darkness, constructing a variety of false selves. We become adept at playing games, wearing masks as if life were a masquerade party. This can go on for a long while. But eventually the music of the True Self seeks us out. Sooner or later [often in mid-life], we're summoned back to the garden. We're called to soul-work."

p48. "...the soul was like a precious field from which we must 'root out the useless grasses, thorns, and briars' in order to reveal the beauty of God's image glistening in the soil. To Hildegard, sin was failing to care for the soul, failing to water it and give it what she called 'greening power.' The saddest thing, to Hildegard, was a 'drooping soul.'"

Why worry?
I know...
I know what you need,
and when you need it.


...Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see.

make like houdini

I can be over it
I can be over you.
But I really don't want to
When all you have to do
Is say my name
And look at me that way.
I don't wanna be over it
I don't wanna be over you.
But I gotta move on
So someone else can see
What you didn't want to.

I love when I come across others thoughts that I so needed to read.

This part comes from Mrs Leslie M, and her always timely thoughts.

"For example, if you are a guy and there is a girl who is all over you, always around you, incessently talking to you and desperate for your attention... it is highly unlikely that romance will bud. However, if there is a girl who has mystery, who has kept you at a distance, who doesn't feel the need to flaunt herself and isn't desperate for your attention... she is almost irresistible. Playing "hard to get" is almost always a sure bet that attention will follow...."

Yeah, this reads a "hello Lauren.... what have you been thinking?"

I have been that girl, always there, always available, always seeking attention.

And it is against everything I believe in.

But I do it... why?

....I think I figured out that, I've been at both opposite extremes, but never finding a real balance.

I've been that girl who has been quiet, mysterious, slow to open, and no one has pursued.

I've been that girl who has been outgoing, talkative, open, and no one has pursued.

I've been that girl... who has so wanted someone to see who I am--that I've been too open, honest, and revealing before the right time.

But it's not easy to refrain when you click with someone, and you just want the friendship to flow into a relationship.

But I haven't allowed myself to be hidden enough... for him TO pursue.

To want to know more about me, to want to know what drives my heart, because he already knows it.

I give too much away, too soon.

I should be so hidden in God, that a man would have to seek him to find me.

So, here's my heart. I'm going to be in hiding for some time.

Until the right one seeks God with all his heart,

In order to find mine.

Keep praying for me... to keep this vow. To keep growing, loving, pursuing a sweet, precious relationship with the Lord... and that in all my desires and wants, he holds, he hides, until it's ready.

Until it's the right time for love to awaken.

And I won't have to be a babbling brook for him to notice me,

But quiet waters, for him to seek and draw out, and find comfort in.

I pray for him. I pray even more for his heart during this time.

love.

If I don't say it enough, I want to say it right now. My friends & family: you all mean so much to me, every one of you. The ones who bring me laughter & joy; the ones who challenge me to be a better woman in the Lord; the ones who take care of me & lend an ear. Life is like a vapor; here one moment, gone the next. For... every last one of you, I love you & I don't take you for granted. [1 John 4:7]

I'm so used to feeling [this]; I wonder how it even surprises me anymore. Good girls seem to finish last.... to whatever is left...

You like her over me.

Surprise.

You want that girl over me.

Surprise.

You want someone easy over me.

Surprise.

You want that? Really.

should I be surprised at myself?

not that he was ever mine to begin with...

but that a quiet sigh of relief has come across me?

As to this, I'm used to.

Being the last one standing...

Always questioning what could be wrong...

but realizing that everything is right where it needs to be.

I'm right where I need to be.

He's off liking someone else.

Well okay.

My heart says it's unfair.

My mind says it's unfair.

But God's ways are just.

He knows...

The best is yet to come.

I want his best. over anything.

Even this.

What I think I need.

What I think I want.

I want HIS best.

because I fall so short of choosing that for myself.

it's better to wait and discover

all that is in store

than to leap at all the presents

when I could have waited

for the very right one for me

that was hidden

that I didn't see

but I chose something else.

because I couldn't wait.

but that's not how this is going to turn out.

this time.

I'm waiting.

for the best.

reading.reflection

I just read this wonderful post.

I love when writing affects me in this way.

Zephaniah 3:17~"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

"If our attention is on who or what we want rather than on God's desire for us, we will miss out on hearing his best for us..."

Our confidence and our hope should come from who we are in Christ— firstand foremost. It's what you and I simply must cling to, so that we are not living in despair and so that our lives (hearts and minds) will be open and free to be available for what God wants to do in and through our lives. I know it is hard. I am there right now, too. But I must tell you that in this dry season, long though it may be, I have grown closer in my walk with the Lord. And he has worked in my life to correct and to change, to push me out of my comfort zone and to help others. What a source of comfort and hope he is to me in times when I am weak and feel unloved! I am thankful for how he has blessed my life and drawn me closer to him during this time period. Whether or not you are being pursued, whether or not you have a boyfriend, whether or not you are on the track to getting married, it does not define who you are or your value or what your purpose is here on earth. Remember that. Remember that you are created in God's image. I'll say it again: He made you in his image (Genesis 1:26-27). He sent his Son to earth for you (John 1:1-4). He has pursued you since the beginning of time and continues to constantly pursue YOU and wants relationship with you and desires to show you his love (Zephaniah 3:17). Believe that. Savor it. Hold on to it each and every time you feel frustrated and dejected as a single woman. God loves you, he has a plan for you (even when you don't understand—Ecclesiastes 11:5) and he is working it out for his good so that he may be glorified in you. Let his light shine in your life, and I promise you that you will most definitely feel loved and will certainly glow. ....my gum tastes like your cigar.

these.days

"Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?"

So many thoughts.

My heart hurts a lot tonight.

I think it's an accumulation of things building up.

And frankly,

I just miss you.

And I don't even know who you are [or could be].

I just want you here, right now.

This longing.

It hurts. It wants to be found.

But Lord, you ask me to come with you. To arise to the occasion. To take heart. To not worry about anything. To trust. To be patient. To wait.

I'm waiting. It just hurts. And that's okay. It really is.

The longing is so strong.

But I'm preparing.

So I can be the woman he needs.

The woman you need me to be.

I long for you.

I long for Heaven even more.

...the days go by, and I'm writing it all down so I don't forget. I know I'll be seeing you. And when I close my eyes, I'll be anywhere you are... I wish you were here with me now...

tip.of.the.iceberg

...I'll travel the sub-zero tundra, I'll brave glaciers and frozen lakes. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, I'll do whatever it takes... Snow drifts build up and enfold us, As we wait out this winter storm...

And I'll do whatever it takes while I wait for [you].

I love how music so specifically sings the words that we're thinking.

I love how each season brings something new and desirable.

But I don't love the scrapes and bruises that get you where you need to be.

Not in the least bit.

I just know surrender is hard, scary, may leave you battered and bruised...

But it's all for the greater good of your heart.

Pruning away the bad, revealing the good underneath.

It is a season of growth.

We shed the summer sun and warm comforts.

We enter the cold tundra of winter.

We are mere skeletons in our form.

Now all we are left with is bare skin.

So vulnerable to the chilling winds that want to freeze our hearts.

What do we do?

Allow it to stun our growth?

Or do we hibernate in our inner dwellings,

Fixing what is battered & bruised,

And nursing the wounds of yesterday?

If we keep them close,

Provide shelter from the winter storm,

There it will grow & form underneath

The deep dwellings.

Soon the winter will be over,

And that what we made under

Will be bursting at its seams

Waiting to be free.

And there,

That's where we'll shine bright & beautiful.

We just have to wait,

Be patient,

Trust that it will all come together.

I know it's really hard for me to see that. It just feels like winter will never pass, that my beauty will never be shown to another, that this season of being a bare, vulnerable skeleton won't ever look beautiful in the spring. But I press forward, lighting up those fiery insecurities/lies so they burn away. Beauty for ashes.

There is a deep longing to be noticed, admired, cherished, and fought for; it's how we as women were made. We want a man to dare and win us over. But we should not awaken love until it is ready. We must remain "asleep" in the slumber of winter. In it, we can grow, mature, and flower when spring comes. We must not let winter stun our growth for beauty. We must not allow the beliefs spoken to us that we're not worth it, to harbor deep within our roots-- because that will only hinder us from being who God created us to be-- A God-fearing, virtuous woman.

What may that look like? We've all heard about the "Proverbs 31" Woman-- But what does that REALLY mean?

Here are my thoughts.

1. Back in that time, women were mere "ornamental" hangings on their man. Ah, enter into the "winter-esque" thought. So, they weren't really deemed as much. [But oh, WE ARE!]. A virtuous woman was worth far more than rubies. And gems were worth a lot. So what does that say? A woman was seen more precious than the jewels, because she was SEEN as a jewel. Pretty great, huh?

2. So as we're pruning away the bad, we're allowing the good to grow in its place. And what do we want for our man? We want to encourage & build him up, don't we? So as our goodness grows, so can his. A virtuous woman will bring good & not harm the man she loves. He won't regret being with you. He will see you as his jewel. Bonus for him.

3. Being a virtuous woman is being able to work hard & take care of our own needs. Now, I'm not totally promoting women liberation, "You go girl! You don't need a man!" kind of mentality. Although, that in itself I don't believe is bad--when it doesn't get out of hand. As a woman, we want to subtly seduce [in a pure manner] the man, and encourage him to LEAD us. And that to say, a man doesn't want a woman who can't do anything on her own, that much I know. BUT, he does want to be able to help us, because that is his role as a man whom has "come to rescue us." What good is it if we tell him what to do next?

4. A virtuous woman will do things in secret. She cultivates her heart in the dark. I see this as a wonderful time during singleness. It may seem dark & dreary at best, but in that time, we can grow and mature. See a pattern forming? And thus doing it, we will be able to provide for our family some day from our growth back when we were singles. It's all about using your time. I am figuring this out, too as I go. We plant the seeds that we may not see flourish until years to come. So plant away in the secret. Cultivate them. Watch them grow.

5. God made us strong! Think about what good things he has given us as women. We can endure so many things. Let us remember to not lean on our own understanding, but lean your heart on God's. He will give you the strength to move on, grown, and become who you were meant to be. He will give us wisdom in our suffering, he will guide us when we feel our light has gone out. He is preparing us RIGHT NOW!

6. One big thing that I feel may get over-looked is being kind & gentle. I feel like the big thing spoken to women these days is to be this outspoken, "go get your man, girl!" mentality. Really? I feel that has been spoken to me numerous times in subtle ways that grow into big ways and change my direction. The way we attract the men [as I feel], is to be kind & gentle--showing our sensitive femininity. I tend to be bold in my ways, like I feel Ruth & Esther were-- not sure what the outcome might be-- but they TRUSTED God. They knew he would not lead them astray. So, in their gentle & kind, yet bold ways... the men in their lives took notice, and furthermore, respected & admired their femininity to be just that. But they waited for their response.

7. A BIG BIG thing here is showing your man [or possible man] respect. In your actions, in the way you present yourself, in your speech; however you bring attention to yourself to a man, do it respectfully. Being a virtuous woman has learned the difference in what that means. She brings him HONOR by doing such a thing. And the men out there, praise this kind of woman. Let her know what you see. This will encourage her in enormous ways. She will continue to flourish by your sincere words. You are helping a woman grow and be the woman she should be for you, or even some other man out there. He will appreciate your encouraging words!

8. Showing joy. It's easy to allow our feelings to control the mood of our days. "Man, I'm so down... such-n-such happened today." Or, "I just got this fantastic letter in the mail, I'm so happy!" I have my down days, I have my really good days-- and when I'm feeling either way, I question why... is it because of joy? Or is it merely based on the "feelings?" Keep them in check-- JOY is something that we experience in our hearts. That isn't dependent on the outside circumstances. [Check out 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18].

I could continue on and on. But lastly I want to say to all the women out there, YOU are worth far more than the jewels in this world, you are WORTH pursuing by a Godly man who wants the best for you; STOP settling for mediocre, stop believing the lies that are being fed to you that you are not WORTH the wait, you are not WORTH being pursued, and any other LIE that seeps into your heart. Goodness, this road has been so difficult for me [with believing these lies about myself]. I'm telling you RIGHT NOW, prayerfully talk to God about what you've been believing, and listen to him speak to you. I know he will. He spoke clearly to me, telling me how much he desired ME, loved ME, treasured ME, saw me as this beautiful JEWEL, and sees me as WORTH pursuing-- ALL of my days. How remarkable is that? And to think I wasn't worth it.

But we are. WE ARE. Who cares if "Joe Blow" doesn't notice us. It's truly his loss for being so blind. He isn't worth your time. I firmly believe that if you are single right now, [like myself], it is for a reason, it is for a season. I don't know how long that will be for you [or myself], but I am TRUSTING and being patient [or at least trying to be!] for when he makes my path straight, and the path of another. And when that happens, he will merge the two straighten baths that were crooked, and it will all make sense. We will be able to see the journey he had us on that led straight to that moment. How wonderful. How overwhelming.

So, this is what I tell myself. It's hard and hurts some days, but it will be worth the wait. You are worth it, that is all I know. So don't give up hope. I am not. We walk the rest of the way together. We can encourage one another. We can chisel away the tip of the iceberg together. We'll get to the core of who we were created to be.

So, are you with me?