"those that wait on the Lord rise up on wings like eagles;
so we can start to see things from His point of view;
that way we will walk and not faint...run and not grow weary..."
help me Lord, to let this go...
to let this not be another distraction...
I have grown so much this year. People have come into my life that I would have never saw coming.
Picture it. Discover it.
Planting the seed to see it grow.
The fragrance, the beauty.
It is awakening, blooming.
My gardener carefully pruned away the bad, to reveal the good.
The beauty beneath the sorrow, the pain, the grief.
The beauty within that is bursting to be revealed.
The Lord gave me a provision:
There were two different occasions that come to mind. Both happened in prayer, in silence.
The first one was a detailed pathway to get to the top of this mountain. I was pushing past the brush and trees. It was dark, but the sun peeked through the branches. It was a light guiding me to my destination. I finally reached a clearing, and sat awhile to ponder my journey. This lasted for some time. I needed to rest. I had been through a lot.
The next picture was myself standing at the parting of two trees. I walked closer and closer, and all I saw was blue skies, the sun shining so brightly. I looked around in awe of my surroundings; the view. It was breath-taking. "So this is what I waited for? This is where my journey brought me to? This is utterly amazing." And there in front of me, was the Lord. He faced me like a lover would. He embraced me. He began to tell me how he sees the bigger picture; he guided me exactly where I needed to go, even with all the detours and tiresome pathways. It was all for a reason. He told me how much he loved me, and wanted me to see what he sees-- his point of view on where I had been, and what he had in store for me. The horizon was so vast and wide, it was remarkable to think that, I was just in a forest, not being able to see anything but my surroundings. But now I saw what the Lord saw. "This is how much I love you. Never forget that."
I had to soak in the beauty of the journey... of the wait.
I had to learn how to love myself; I had to fall in love with my Maker before anything else. To face him as a lover...
The second came to me like a rushing flood. I was sitting in my room, just being quiet. A picture was painted in my mind. I was on the beach [which I love], just soaking up the beautiful colors dancing in the sky made by the sun going down so perfectly on the water. It happens every day, but it is beautiful each time in its own way. Then a man came and sat down beside me. It was Jesus. He put his arm around me, just hugging me and talking with me. We talked about a lot of things. But the only thing I remember is, how much he wanted me to know that he loved me, so much. And that he told me, "you see as far as you need to. There is a vast ocean in front of you, and you can't see the end of it-- but it's there just the same, just like it always has been. So has my love. And I want you to know that's how much I love you... as far & as wide as the ocean's view... Just as the sun rises and the sun sets, I will always love you. And I want you to know that there is a whole world in front of you, and you're ready to see it. Come with me. Let's go."
And with that, I told him I knew he loved me; very much so. His beauty is enough evidence of that with the way it strikes my heart and soul each time. And we walked along side each other as friends... neither one ahead or behind, but side-by-side, his hand in mine.
It's funny how things like that happen, and we second-guess the beauty and simplicity of the message. But indeed did I hear the Lord in both situations. It was confirmed to me later that week during a conference. The speaker told us how, in order to see God as our lover, we have to be face-to-face with him & really learn to love him first. And in order to be his friend, we have to journey together side-by-side, so we can be ready to see what he has in store for us; the bigger picture.
Next time, I don't think I need to wonder....
You know what's hard though? Waiting. Even though I get the message each time, waiting plain stinks. Time and time again, I feel the words "patience, wait, trust" being spoken to me through others or through him. And I'm at that point where I'm thinking, "Really? MORE waiting. For what? I'm ready. Pick me. Can we go yet?" And the Lord replying, "Not yet." And you know what? I'm strangely okay with it more-so now that ever before. I never thought I'd reach this point of being OKAY with where I am at in life. Then a part of me really wants life to move ahead; I want to go to the place that he's preparing for me. But for some reason unknown to me, I still need to wait. And you think, "what am I even waiting for? Is there something that good out there that's taking its time so that it will be great?" Yup, it's true; I just can't see it yet.
But all I know is, that he's made something beautiful in its time; I can be a light in all the dark places, waiting to be found. And I know that when I reach that point where he says, "you don't need to wait any longer; it's here waiting for you," then I know I'm going to be blown away and extremely blessed by it. I will be amazed. I have hope in that. I put my trust in that. I'm praying for that every day.
Come soon. I'm waiting for you.
We are diamonds waiting to be found, catching light in the corners of our eyes...
We are made of love, and all the beauty stemming from it.
