.poem: out of breath.

Out of breath,
closer to a dream,
I see you standing there
in between the seams
of dreams and reality.
You keep telling me I'm almost there,
well I don't know- it's so far away,
will I ever get there?

Out of breath,
I'm just holding on,
I hope I can make it.
Keep me near to You.

I hold onto these dreams of tales before
They keep whispering in the night
Love, oh love so divine
I wish you were mine,
Are you mine?
Please don't go...

Sometimes I hate to be awake
If it just means that I'm more alone than before
Telling tales of broken hearts
Shattered dreams
Meant for more than this,
Tell me it's true
Please tell me there's more to it than this...

Salvage this waste of a land
So barren of love that's real
Tainted with images of disgust
I'm so sick of this crippling reality
That rattles my dreams
I long for more,
I hope there's more than this.

Out of breath
Still holding on
Come close
I remember this,
So familiar
In my heart
This is ecstasy
Real love is this

Out of breath
Still I'm holding on
Waiting for the sun on the horizon
To come crashing down
This is real
Real love
The stuff dreams are made of.

Out of breath
I'm waiting for you
Still holding on
In and out and in between my dreams
This is real...

.love..away.

Your so sure that no one knows what your going through
I know exactly how you feel
Cause I see myself in you
What is broken
What's been stolen
Our Father will restore...


Faith.

I have been leaning on the meaning of this word more and more lately. What does it mean? I can't stop fighting the feeling.

Wounds

The only thing I know that is real is His Love.


I came close this afternoon
To take a chance
Spare a moment with you
My world is unraveling
I'm pulling away inside
Do you even care?
Would you stop your rambling
And just listen to me
Don't you see in my eyes
The hurt inside?
Do you even care?
Tell me you care...

You look good, you look just fine
But I'm wondering if it's only time
Before I see you steal another smile
From the girl across the room
Hurt me again, why don't you?
'Cuz all I see right now
Is nothing new
You're just the same...

A lying smile to steal my heart
You loved me, you said
And I believed every word
You're beautiful, you told me
And I thought you meant it
But you went and took a piece of me
You left me, a lily among the thorns...

Cried my last, tried to cover up the pain
Healed my heart with a weak disguise
But You, You came
A Prince amongst the thieves
I told You, "I can't take this anymore!
Aren't I worth so much more,
Than a stupid boy & his promises of broken words?"
And then You told me, "You're deserve better than what what he's got,
So hold on, I'll love it away."
You came to save, to save me,
From everything & more,
"Just wait on Me," You said,
"You're worth so much more..."

I heard everything You said
And I'm holding on,
Holding on to everything and more,
You tell me to keep on dreaming, to wait for everything and more
"You're beautiful, so beautiful,
A lily among thorns, someone worth fighting for..."

And I'm hanging onto every word You say
Because a boy's just a boy
But You came for me, to rescue
To steal away the thoughts of scorn
My heart is still weak, so
Hold it, protect it, keep it.
You're here with me always,
You know what is in my heart
And yet still I wait, but You know there's much more
Something yet in store...

And so I still hope for the one, that he'll see me
A heart worth seeking
Hidden so deep within You
Push past the pain, the scorn
That surrounds this beauty in thorns.

Will you come for me?
Will you steal my heart?
Will you go over the edge,
Brave the scorn, fight the danger?
Will you rescue a beauty,
A lily among thorns?



*~This is a declaration for me, for the other women out there- Hold on. Life can be a crazy train ride. We all go through the exhilaration and excitement on the twists and turns and new sightings. Life can be a beautiful ride; but it seems that beauty gets clouded and rained and stormed upon. Sometimes we feel like there's an open window we can't close, the brakes get cut, and we spin wildly out of control. We try to get fix it on our own, but it doesn't work and we mess it up even more...

But thankfully, He hears our cries and comes to rescue us & fixes our brokenness. He loves away all our hurt and disappointments. He heals the internal that keeps us going. When we cling to that, His love, that is what mends our hearts. We're able to see a different side of things. We're able to sit back on the ride, and let Him guide us the rest of the way. Why do we think we need to steer when we don't even know where we're going?

At this point in my life, I am able to look back & see all the disastrous, yet changing moments in my life. I wanted to steer all on my own; and I went on the wrong direction & had no brakes to stop myself. I crashed & burned. A part of me died- - but that is only a part of the good news. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to be able to say, "I NEED YOU!" We're too thick-skulled and stubborn to sit in the passenger seat and just enjoy the ride... even when that ride brings a storm that seems like it won't end...

I'm on this path that I hope leads me to something more than what I've been looking for. In fact, I know He'll put me there, because my trust is on Him this time. I don't need to do this on my own, and I can't anyway. It's no use to run away and do it alone...

You know what I want? To not settle. I've been settling my whole life...
I settle for weak passions, dreams, potentials, employment, life, love, hopes, and everything in between. What do I fight for? Why do I run away from everything I want?
I want to be pursued for who I am & what I have to offer. I want to be fight for, just the same. I want someone to see me as beautiful for my patience, kindness, compassion, loveliness; for a heart worth pursuing. To see me a lily amongst the thorns- - to cut away the danger and find a beauty within. Something to treasure, something to hold onto forever.
I want to extend love out to those who are hurting.
I want to be everything I need to be in this life.
I want to love selflessly.
I want to be as Christ-like as I can be.
It's not easy, nor is anything I think I need or want.
But He knows what we need.
He'll never let go of steering us right, when we hand over our lives...

So where are you going?
What are you holding onto?
You're worth everything and more...

So hold on...