old.

It is a remarkably strange feeling to see more and more younger kids getting married before me. These were kids [literally] that I watched grow up, or were around when they were about 12-15 years old. And now, they're engaged. Woah.

BEFORE ME?!?!

It happens. But that doesn't mean I don't think it's really weird and kind of makes me feel like I am never going to get married. . . . .

perhaps my ship is never coming.

god glorifying friendship.

C IM’d me a half hour ago.
I should be in bed sleeping.
I stayed up to watch “Hot In Cleveland”- funny funny show.
Back to C.
He’s in another world. literally.
My heart changed because of him.
I think his heart changed because of me… For the better. To be where he is right now. Not to give myself the credit, at ALL; but God used me in this situation and that is very clear to me… you are used. every opportunity.

God can be praised. God can use you.

and he will.

This is pure evidence of it. I am amazed. I am smiling in realization. epiphany.
It wasn’t all a waste. It wasn’t wrong. It was absolutely, perfect in every way.

God was the center of our friendship. God used us for each other, to better one another in this journey.
Even though things didn’t go the way I had planned [as they usually don’t], I remember smiling/crying after driving home one night when we used to hang out all the time. I realized how deeply God had moved my heart and used C to do so. And that’s exactly what is all about.

God was glorified in our encounter.
God was glorified in our close friendship.

He’s offline now. Probably a bad connection.
But we connected and that’s never going to go away. Our friendship may be frozen in time, but that time was not wasted. Not at all.

I learned from it. And it’s about time I let go and move ahead. Press onward towards whatever He has in store for me. Perhaps I can be light in someone else’s life that needs shining on… reflecting His light to spread it like wildfire…

And perhaps, this is what life is all about…

[[Ecc 3: 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ]]