Monday, September 13, 2010

You Are For Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSMfL5LuSo

I was watching this video of Kari Jobe's song, "You Are For Me," and I felt like this is my song.

"I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me. I know that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I know that you have come down, even if to ride upon my heart. To remind me who you are."

So often I forget this. Life gets in the way.

I'm so broken. Discontent.

I worry. I wonder.

I let things get the best of me.


I get swept up in things. Over-thinking. Worrying. Wondering. Hoping. Expecting.

I'll be the first to admit that I still get insecure about myself. It's been a long journey that has been so painful, but in the midst of it all, the Lord has shown himself in me-- that he loves me just as I am. I don't know if the insecure root will ever really go away; but I try my best to not let it grow into something it used to be. Because God knows I'm worth it. He's so patient and loving. It took me long enough to realize his love for me, to be OKAY with who I am. That no matter what, he's always going to love me; he's always going to pursue me.
And I'm so in love with the way he loves me.

Sometimes I don't think about how I may come across. I guess I'm so full of happiness that is inside of me now, that it spills over into encouragement to others; encouraging them on to be something better, that sometimes I forget that it takes people time to trust and fully accept that THAT is you, nothing else but you. They may get the wrong impression. They may get scared.
I'm not a cautious lover.
And maybe I should be.

I try to protect my heart from things. But so easily I jump into them every time.
I think the only thing I can really jump into with no thoughts of worry, is the love of Christ.
Because I know he wants me to dive in so deep, because he pursues my heart every day.
And I think I just jump in without thinking. Without considering that someone else is in this.
Maybe they are just as scared to let someone in, as I was before.
I guess all to say, I'm not scared anymore.

I want to be hidden, but the light peeks through the crack of the door.
I want someone to wonder what is shining so bright behind it.
I want someone to not be afraid to swing open the doors,
To stand in awe,
And see something beautiful.


I'm so ready and waiting to fall.

But maybe I need to be patient for something greater than this.
I want something that is worth waiting for.

Lord, give me your eyes to see
Your plans. Your word.
To remind me who you are.
That you know everything.

That you are for me.