.plain.hope.

"He made you feel plain when he forgot your name... Let me tell you something, I have felt the same...I know you're in pain... God- He made you beautiful, and there's nothing about you that's plain...."



There always comes a time where I feel nothing but plain.
I feel that I'm not their type.
I feel insecure of who I am.
I feel that I can't measure up to their standards of beauty.
Am I beautiful?
Am I worthy of love?
Am I really anything but plain?

Why does she capture the attention of the crowd,
Why do all the guys admire her from afar,
And want to get to know her?
But there is something about her that they don't see,
She feels plain, she feels used, she feels bitter, but she'll entertain you and be your muse.

I look your way,
But you just smile and say,
You're my friend,
You're my sister,
You're just not the type,
I'd want for a wife....

There are many days I feel this way & feel the pain of not feeling what those other girls get to feel. Why do they get to have someone that cares for them, puts them before their own needs, and really respects them for who they are? Why am I not being pursued?

Then smart-girl mode comes in & sets my insecure mind straight.
"Just shut up already."
You are a beautiful person inside & out... you are a princess so set apart, that guys just don't appreciate what you are, and are not out to get someone hard, they want someone easy. So don't settle for less than what you deserve. You are precious. You are worth more than anything that they desire to seek from you. Hold out. Hold on. Don't give up on the dream. If anything, it suits you well. There has always been something internally desirable about you. Something breath-taking that is yet to be discovered. Keep it hidden. Keep it near. Have your heart so close to the Lord's. He will always protect, always love, and always perservere.

But oohh... insecure-girl likes to pop her head out again....
How do I know is it worth the wait? How do I know some guy will even think I'm desirable to pursue? Why do I care so much? Why can't I just trust?
The heart grows stronger or fonder... but how much can one take? The pain of waiting is a burden that isn't light. What am I really waiting for? Who is it that holds another part of me? Is it really going to be all I ever dreamed?

:You are a jewel, you are a treasure, you are one of a kind. And you shine just as bright as the stars in the sky. You are a rare kind of wonder, created just right... so keep your head up no matter the pain... there's nothing about you that's plain:

Right now I sit here... wondering.

It's hard to be content with where you're at when where you are at is not where you'd hope you'd be by now. There's a lot to sort through. I know I'm real in who I am. I know I'm not plain. I know I'm one of a kind. I know I have a lot to offer. I love giving.... giving advice, praise, love, guidance. I love being... just that. I don't have anyone I need to impress. I am just me. If that's not someone's type, then I guess that is just too bad for them.

I'm tired of waiting.

And I mean, I'm tired of waiting for a desire that I really want no part of.

I'm tired of hoping for something.

But I'm grateful I've come this far.

I'm holding out for so much more.

I hope he's doing the same.

So about being plain?

No...

Just Beauty.

There's always beauty in the wait.