make like houdini

I can be over it
I can be over you.
But I really don't want to
When all you have to do
Is say my name
And look at me that way.
I don't wanna be over it
I don't wanna be over you.
But I gotta move on
So someone else can see
What you didn't want to.

I love when I come across others thoughts that I so needed to read.

This part comes from Mrs Leslie M, and her always timely thoughts.

"For example, if you are a guy and there is a girl who is all over you, always around you, incessently talking to you and desperate for your attention... it is highly unlikely that romance will bud. However, if there is a girl who has mystery, who has kept you at a distance, who doesn't feel the need to flaunt herself and isn't desperate for your attention... she is almost irresistible. Playing "hard to get" is almost always a sure bet that attention will follow...."

Yeah, this reads a "hello Lauren.... what have you been thinking?"

I have been that girl, always there, always available, always seeking attention.

And it is against everything I believe in.

But I do it... why?

....I think I figured out that, I've been at both opposite extremes, but never finding a real balance.

I've been that girl who has been quiet, mysterious, slow to open, and no one has pursued.

I've been that girl who has been outgoing, talkative, open, and no one has pursued.

I've been that girl... who has so wanted someone to see who I am--that I've been too open, honest, and revealing before the right time.

But it's not easy to refrain when you click with someone, and you just want the friendship to flow into a relationship.

But I haven't allowed myself to be hidden enough... for him TO pursue.

To want to know more about me, to want to know what drives my heart, because he already knows it.

I give too much away, too soon.

I should be so hidden in God, that a man would have to seek him to find me.

So, here's my heart. I'm going to be in hiding for some time.

Until the right one seeks God with all his heart,

In order to find mine.

Keep praying for me... to keep this vow. To keep growing, loving, pursuing a sweet, precious relationship with the Lord... and that in all my desires and wants, he holds, he hides, until it's ready.

Until it's the right time for love to awaken.

And I won't have to be a babbling brook for him to notice me,

But quiet waters, for him to seek and draw out, and find comfort in.

I pray for him. I pray even more for his heart during this time.