.abandoned.heart.

...And I've come this far
...Just for it to fall apart
...an abandoned heart
...where's the beauty, where is the hope beneath the pain?


timing is everything
they told me
but love,
my heart is ticking
like a clock
racing against time
wanting but not having
seeking but not finding
hoping but not receiving
I've been waiting for so long.

I can't quite explain
all that I want
all that I need
I don't know why
I feel this way
I thought it was right
it just doesn't make sense
why must I fall
with my abandoned heart
lying on the floor?

I'm at your door,
knocking
please let me know
why I must hurt
why I am here again
my jealous eyes see their delights
it's too hard for me to look
I'm back at the place I started
no farther than where I began.

timing is everything
they told me
but love,
where do I begin to start
how this makes me feel
my heart has slowly stopped beating
the clock is no longer ticking
It's all over now
I've given up.

love,
do you hear me?
I've abandoned my heart
just for you, tonight
please hold on to it
I can't take much more
No more searching
No more waiting
Here's my abandoned heart
Just for You.


A reflection of what I am feeling.
A broken mess.
I just don't understand why this always happens.
Why?
Lord, do you hear me?
Why must I abandon my heart when it's feeling so much...
Why must it get ripped out of my chest...
Why?

When will he notice me, for me? When will he... come?

I can't take much more of this.