discovering.you

"Without you, I'm a cold dark stone- shine on me, I have no light of my own- You are the sun, you are the sun, you are the sun- And I am the moon..." ~Sara Groves

My mind is filled with so many thoughts right now. Some calming, some anxious, and some that sadden my heart.

I've been thinking about how the Lord has brought me to this place in my life. I know if I'm given 24 more years of life here, that I will see things through different eyes. It's always in hindsight that we see the truth that was always apparent. Why we don't see look to see it, I'm not sure. I guess maybe it's because we don't want to let go of our plans, our dreams, our wants, our desires.

I've learned a thing or two about that. I was just skating on thin ice until it gave way, and I fought hard to reach the surface, but I gave up. I just let myself drown. I didn't want to reach out for grace's hand. I had to feel it in my own heart, and let healing come. I may have suffered a frozen heart for some time, but I was brought out of it by God's grace. He melted away all my hurts and desires; he peeled back the layers of my heart that I tried so hard to hide. He was the one who fixed my broken soul. I sat on the dirty floor, and he took me and made me clean. His light poured into my heart-- and I was changed.

I always heard people saying how much they had God's love. How much they could feel it.

I never could. I never did...

Until that day.

And now, a year later. Wow. It seems a lot longer than that. He worked out everything in his timing. It's really a beautiful thing. I'm trying not to take things for granted, especially those around me. I want so much to bring my heart to this world, to be open and honest, to love selflessly, to remain vulnerable, to carry each other's burdens.

There's so many ways to hide. There's so many ways not to feel what is real. But I'm here to say, that it's a sorry way to live-- and I did it for far too long. I was too content playing in the puddles when I had the whole ocean in my view. The sun overpowered my dark corners & I wanted to stay put, afraid to burn, afraid to be alive.

But I'm not afraid anymore.

God brought me out of my shell of a heart. And I'm going to burn out bright for the glory of God.

This Kingdom is coming... So what are we going to do about it until then?

"This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful..." ~'Add to the Beauty'- Sara Groves